Hi. Hello. Bonjour. Greetings. Salut. Wilkommen. Ni hao. Whichever fruity faacking language you call your own it’s time for Super Rugby. You better recognise.What’s the greatest comeback in history? Lazarus? George Foreman winning a world title at 45 years old? No! It is the Stormers come from behind 28-26 victory over the Blues. The victory was as improbable as it was entertaing with Schalk Burger snatching the winning try after the hooter. Just to illustrate how amazing this comeback was, the Stormers lost their flyhalf, and goal kicker, and had no cover so they had to stick on the reserve scrummie at five eigth for over 60 minutes of the match. So, they won in the pouring rain with two scrumhalfs, one of which looks like an overweight housewife, missing their two springbok centre’s away from home against the New Zealand conference’s leading team. Yeah, fuck you odds. The other powerhouse NZ team, The Crusaders returned to winning form by beating the Chiefs 25-19. The Chiefs put up a decent scrap but the ‘Saders got too much class. The Chiefs are Roxanne and the Crusaders are a high class Russian escort named Ruslana Bill Williams. The Waratahs beat the Lions 29-12 in Sydney. The ‘Tahs , due to their boring play, are haemorrhaging fans at a crazy pace so they were desperate to play some champagne rugby. And they did... for forty minutes; they spent the next forty daydreaming about that sexy girl they saw in the crowd or something. A positive for the Lions was that that young flyhalf Elton Jantjies played real good when he came on. Force 13 – Brumbies 13. Do I really need to write more about this game? I’d rather introduce my black girlfriend to my racist granddad then write about this trash. Boring, boring, boring.The Cheetahs! Wahey! I love them like a cheeky younger brother. They scored another batch of tries against the Rebels last Saturday running out 41-21 winners. It was a great game and credit has to go to both teams for wanting to play running footy; especially the Rebs as it’s easy for a struggling team just crawl into their shell. This game also had Stirling Mortlock fighting someone half his size; it was just great. Meanwhile in Durban, the surging Bulls BULLied, pun most facking certainly intended, the Sharkies to the tune of 32-23. They really manhandled the Sharks and the Bulls are looking more nad more likely to snatch the runners up spot in the conference. Rampaging prop Dean Greyling played like a boss in particular. There you are; I am all super 14’ed out. Also, I’d like to take a moment to congratulate myself for spending the past year telling people who reckon O’Gara is better than Sexton that they’re retards. 28 points in a cup final speaks for itself #unneccessaryhashtag.
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