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| Kade Poki in action for the Highlanders |
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Super. Super who? SUPER FUCKING RUGBY ROUND 8. Yes.
We start, as always, in New Zealand with news of the Highlanders narrowly beating the Cheetahs 24-21. The Cheetahs were full of scrap once again but just didn’t have enough class to get the victory. The Highlanders are quietly going about their business and are gonna be in the mix come playoff time, mark my words. Highlanders goose stepping winger Kade Poki seems to be delivering on the promise he showed as a junior All Black and is as dangerous as experimenting with heroin when he gets into space. The Crusaders mangled the Bulls 27-0 with the Bulls - forwards and backs - apparently forgetting that catching the ball is, in fact, a fundamental part of rugby football. It’s always the ‘Saders glory boys who get the credit but a guy like Corey Flynn, their hooker, is the foundation on which their attacking style is built on.
Meanwhile in the land down under (Where woman blow and men thunder), it was a battle of the star studded losers in Canberra when the Brumbies beat the Hurricanes 17-16. These two teams have such a strong aversion to winning that I was quite surprised that this didn’t end up a draw. No player deserves a mention from this game unless I was mentioning underperforming players and I don’t have the time to write the names of 44 players. The Waratahs seem to be getting over their recent slump as the manhandled the Force to the tune of 31-3. If anyone was wondering, Drew Mitchell is good at rugby. Just wanted to clear that up. In related news, Kurtley Beale looks like a rat.
Oh Stormers! My beloved Stormers! Why did you let the Reds beat us 19-6 in Cape Town? Damn. As much as I hate to say this the Reds did a job on the Stormers, they really did. Quade Cooper showed he was more than an attacking fly half with one of the best displays of out hand kicking I have ever seen. The Reds showed great maturity for such a young team and coach Ewen McKenzie deserves plaudits for tailoring a game plan that completely dumbfounded the Stormers. As for you, Stormers, go in sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. Allright, put these words in the correct order: Lions, 27, lost, to, Sharks, the, 3, the. If you guessed “The Lions lost to the Sharks 27-3” then pat yourself on the back. Yes, that’s right folks the Lions lost. Writing a piece about a Lions game is alot like rewriting an obituary. The words may change but the person in the obituary is still dead and the Lions still lose. I’d like to make an addendum to the saying “The only sure things in life are death and taxes” making it “death, taxes and the Lions losing.”
There ya go, now you sons of bitches are in the know about what happened in Super Rugby last weekend. I hope you feel honoured.
We start, as always, in New Zealand with news of the Highlanders narrowly beating the Cheetahs 24-21. The Cheetahs were full of scrap once again but just didn’t have enough class to get the victory. The Highlanders are quietly going about their business and are gonna be in the mix come playoff time, mark my words. Highlanders goose stepping winger Kade Poki seems to be delivering on the promise he showed as a junior All Black and is as dangerous as experimenting with heroin when he gets into space. The Crusaders mangled the Bulls 27-0 with the Bulls - forwards and backs - apparently forgetting that catching the ball is, in fact, a fundamental part of rugby football. It’s always the ‘Saders glory boys who get the credit but a guy like Corey Flynn, their hooker, is the foundation on which their attacking style is built on.
Meanwhile in the land down under (Where woman blow and men thunder), it was a battle of the star studded losers in Canberra when the Brumbies beat the Hurricanes 17-16. These two teams have such a strong aversion to winning that I was quite surprised that this didn’t end up a draw. No player deserves a mention from this game unless I was mentioning underperforming players and I don’t have the time to write the names of 44 players. The Waratahs seem to be getting over their recent slump as the manhandled the Force to the tune of 31-3. If anyone was wondering, Drew Mitchell is good at rugby. Just wanted to clear that up. In related news, Kurtley Beale looks like a rat.
Oh Stormers! My beloved Stormers! Why did you let the Reds beat us 19-6 in Cape Town? Damn. As much as I hate to say this the Reds did a job on the Stormers, they really did. Quade Cooper showed he was more than an attacking fly half with one of the best displays of out hand kicking I have ever seen. The Reds showed great maturity for such a young team and coach Ewen McKenzie deserves plaudits for tailoring a game plan that completely dumbfounded the Stormers. As for you, Stormers, go in sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done. Allright, put these words in the correct order: Lions, 27, lost, to, Sharks, the, 3, the. If you guessed “The Lions lost to the Sharks 27-3” then pat yourself on the back. Yes, that’s right folks the Lions lost. Writing a piece about a Lions game is alot like rewriting an obituary. The words may change but the person in the obituary is still dead and the Lions still lose. I’d like to make an addendum to the saying “The only sure things in life are death and taxes” making it “death, taxes and the Lions losing.”
There ya go, now you sons of bitches are in the know about what happened in Super Rugby last weekend. I hope you feel honoured.
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